A Busy (and emotional) Month
After my last show at Oddville's Breast Exhibit I became aware.
Placing myself in such a vulnerable state exhilarated a part of me I had been suppressing, too afraid of the consequences in revealing it. This has been one of the first years of my life I've been surrounded by so many creative, determined, and inspired individuals. Ones I had begun to accept I would never find. In encountering and finally allowing myself to open up to them, I shed my shame.
I wore Adi's handmade body paint fiercely and with passion. I showcased Gale's pasties with pride and triumph. It was the beginning of something overwhelming and unfamiliar: Letting Go. Letting go of something is like an onion. It has so many layers, and just when you think you're done peeling there's more. This describes the last ten years of my life.
I have been writing responses to the questions "What obstacles have you overcome?" and "Why do you want this?" in regard to scholarships for art, studying abroad in France for drawing and painting, and the BFA program at California State University Long Beach. I had no idea where to start.
The first drafts of these papers were so personal and extensive in the "obstacle" aspect of my life. It was honestly a little unsettling. When I read it over, I realized where my waterfalls of emotion and frustration were coming from. Letting go means things coming to the surface. And having been through a fair amount of shit, the cleansing of all that garbage was going to be intense.
Color combinations made me cry, my favorite color sky made me cry, people noticing my skill made me cry, people noticing me at all made me cry. I was like a water balloon full of leaks. I couldn't stop. My teacher described the emotional reaction to colors as "an exhaustion from beauty."
I ended up editing my papers, sending them in with something a little more "chit-chat" and less Lifetime Movie. But I had yet to get all these crazy emotions out of my system. Two 3'x3' paintings later, I was still overwhelmed by them. I found a reiki healer and what she told me finally calmed me down. "Your life is in transition now because you're ready. You're leaving the past behind. Don't be afraid and don't try to force things. Relax and keep going." I cried myself out that night.
Ah! The reiki session left me refreshed and energized. Still overwhelmed, but by all the wonderful things I've been experiencing and allowing into my life. My heart is filled with the motivation and energy to continue to propel myself (and not be a sad sack of tears).
I still have so much work left to do in myself, in school, and in my budding career. But remembering where I came from and where I'm at now has truly emphasized the value in my work and what I've been doing. Having found support among my peers not solely in art, but emotionally as well, has been an amazing blessing. It takes a village!
I stumbled upon Eric Minh Swenseon at La Luz de Jesus and was invited to be in his curated show, Nude Survey 5. Throughout this month he has graciously been introducing me to all the amazing galleries in LA and their artists, curators, and owners. I've been intensely inspired by the art at each one of them. One of my favorites was this installation by Mirza Haroon at the Ghebaly Gallery. The combination of Haroon's sound and Channa Horwitz' incredibly particular color-coded numbering system vibrated in the inner core of me. I wanted to lay in the middle of the room and live there.
Film by Eric Minh Swenson. Ghebaly Gallery is pleased to present a project with Haroon Mirza titled, A Chamber for Horwitz: Sonakinatography Transcriptions in Surround Sound. Originally shown at Museum Tinguely, in Basel, Switzerland, this is the first time this piece will be exhibited in the United States.
Eric Johnson studio BBQ. San Pedro IMG X EMS.thuvanarts.com. @ericminhswenson — with Aliza J Bejarano, Eric Minh Swenson, Eric Johnson andJan Taylor.
Ariana Papademetropoulos. MAMA Gallery. Los Angeles. IMG X EMS. thuvanarts.com.@ericminhswenson — with Baha H. Danesh, Aliza J Bejarano and Eric Minh Swenson at MAMA.
Jesse Mockrin and Andy Woll. Night Gallery. Los Angeles. IMG X EMS. thuvanarts.com.@ericminhswenson — with Aliza J Bejarano, Jesse Mockrin and Eric Minh Swenson at Night Gallery.
Robert Russell. The Cabin. Los Angeles. IMG X EMS. thuvanarts.com. @ericminhswenson — withAliza J Bejarano, Danny First, Lisa Edelstein andEric Minh Swenson
Angus Chamberlain. Paul Williams Gallery. Ontario. IMG X EMS. thuvanarts.com. @ericminhswenson— with Aliza J Bejarano, Eric Minh Swenson andJan Taylor.